Hanging in the Branches

Our home acquires a festive look this time of the year, not that it is sad or dreary during the other months. Holiday decorations adorn the living room, giving visual evidence that ‘tis the Christmas season. An iron tree completed with lights, tinsel, and ornaments stands in the corner near the window. Stockings hang over the fireplace, immediately beneath the reindeer that prance across the mantle. A nativity created out of corn husks, made by Judi when she was still in high school, occupies a prominent place on a sofa table. It adds warmth and joy to the room’s ambience that helps keep us mindful that Christmas Day is near.

Early Quakers did not recognize Christmas as a special day because they believed every day was a holy day. Some Friends still religiously observe the non-observation of Christmas, but I am not one of them. While I agree that every day is the Lord’s Day, that does not convince me that no acknowledgment of Christmas is in order; but it does no doubt influence the degree to which I engage with holiday festivities. I must confess that with the decoration of our home, I play only a minor role. The vision and implementation is largely thanks to my wife. She has a greater appreciation of symbolic gestures than I. If it were left to me none of these seasonal creations would likely find their way into our home. I prefer to enjoy the holiday in simple ways like re-reading the Christmas story, mulling over the implications of the idea of the Christ-child as God’s gift to the world, or finding a project that has the potential to make a difference for someone. It is less a matter of not liking Christmas and more a matter of trying to avoid holiday cheer that has little in common with Jesus’ birth or message.

It has taken some work on my part, but over the years I have become less curmudgeonly about the decoration of our home and Judi has learned to embrace moderation. Now closing in on thirty-three years of wedded bliss, we have danced this seasonal dance long enough that certain features have earned my appreciation.

We still display the ornament I gave to her on our first Christmas as a married couple, and a ball made of china that was hand painted by my Grandmother Boling. We have representations of traditions from other countries, such as the German pickle—which to this day seems like a strange thing to hang from a tree. I suppose it is no odder than my favorite tree ornament. It, too, will always look out of place, as though it was left by some absent-minded electrician who overlooked it when collecting his or her supplies. Hanging on the branches every year at our house you will find a roll of yellow electrical tape. It did not originate in a foreign land or an exotic place, unless you count Chatham County, North Carolina as either foreign or exotic. The electrical tape’s status as an ornament is the kind of consequence that has been known to occur when someone new is given responsibility to carry on a standing tradition. Even though the task may seem simple and routine, sometimes a first-timer cannot help but put their own indelible mark on the moment.

This particular roll of electrical tape was found stuffed into my Christmas stocking many years ago the year my father had taken the responsibility for filling them.  In previous years we had Christmassy type small gifts, plus some small candies, nuts, and maybe an orange. That changed the year Bobby Marshall filled the stockings! In addition to electrical tape, other small tools were sprinkled throughout the collection like little screwdrivers and pliers small enough to fit inside a stocking. It was a stark departure from the usual practice and caught us all by surprise. We howled in in a combination of delight and disbelief, laughing even louder when, somewhat flustered at our reaction, he said, “Well, you just never know when that will come in handy.” Of course, he was right. On no day when I have needed electrical tape did I start the day thinking it would good to have a roll close at hand. You never know exactly what you will encounter in a day. I, for one, like to be well-equipped when I can!

My father died not long after that so I never used that roll of tape for its intended purpose. For whatever reason, in the early stages of grief I decided to promote it to ornament status and each year I hang it on one of the branches of our Christmas tree as a tribute to him. It turns out my dad was right. I had no idea that tape would come in so handy the day I received it. Why should candy canes and angels get all the attention, anyway? If room can be made for a pickle, surely there is room for other items that make a meaningful contribution to the occasion! The tape may look out of place among all the other items adorning the tree, but the decorations are not complete without it!  It ranks among my favorites for a few reasons.

For starters, obviously it reminds me of my father. It makes me laugh every year when I recall the reactions we all had to his choice of stocking stuffers. Along with that comes a flood of memories of the many ways he influenced my life. Qualities like strength and gentleness defined him. And if you had known him, you would know where I gained such a playful approach to life and relationships. When positive influences are regularly available it is easy to take them for granted (sort of like every day being a holy day), but not everyone enjoys such easy access to that kind of support. By helping me recall those memories, this tape-turned-ornament initiates a much wider reflection that encourages me to pay attention to many pieces of my life, past and present, where lessons have been learned and love has been received. Some are joyful. Some are painful. But they have all contributed to who I have become and in them I frequently catch sight of Immanuel, or God With Us. I believe that kind of contemplation is in keeping with the spirit of Christmas.   

The tape ornament annually reminds me of the valuable lesson that good intentions carried out by well-meaning people can lead to surprisingly different outcomes. And why wouldn’t they?  Not all of them will make sense or be appreciated by those affected by good intentions placed into action. Our different experiences and preferences color what we see as desirable and appropriate expressions in a given moment. For instance, where I live when someone dies we take food to the family. A friend recently shared with me that in his culture when someone dies, the family is expected to feed those who come to mourn and pay their respects. As another example, when visiting in a home in Belize I was served turtle soup, chosen because it was considered a delicacy and showed the hosts’ desire to honor their guests’ presence. With one sip of that soup I realized I preferred my turtles in a pond or terrarium, not a bowl; but the intention was a good one and deserved to be honored. For a do-it-yourself kind of guy like my dad, even if they were not typical stocking stuffers, these gifts were all useful and valued expressions of his hopes for his children; namely that we would be well-equipped and well-prepared.

It is funny how over the years, what began as a misfit ornament paying tribute to a milestone in my life has become a mainstay of Christmas decorations at our house. It has stretched the imagination of what qualifies as a suitable ornament, acceptable to hang alongside the usually expected shapes and figures. It redirects me to think about what gives meaning and depth to the holiday.

In a similar way, that is what happens with many new encounters where what first appears odd touches our hearts, changes our perspective, and deepens our experience. It stretches our understanding of what is possible, or even necessary, developing a greater appreciation for God’s expansive creation and all (or at least most, if I’m being honest!) of the critters within it.

In my opinion, Christmas bears some similarities to my electrical tape. What initially appeared as an odd gift – an infant arriving as the answer to messianic dreams – has in fact taken hold in the hearts of many, changing how we think about God, how we understand our place in the world, how we imagine life could and should be. It helps us to remember that we are loved. It inspires us to keep hope in the face of challenge. It encourages us to make room for the unexpected and unusual.

This Christmas season, what new things might you hang in the branches to give additional meaning and depth to your experience of the holy-days?