A few years ago, overcome with a sense that our house had enough “stuff,” Judi and I agreed that we had to have a place for something new before we bought it. This greatly reduces the number of souvenirs we purchase when we travel, but has not diminished our pleasure derived from the trips. Recently, we modified that goal. It is no longer sufficient simply to have the necessary space, but we also have to answer the question “what would be its purpose?” That may sound work-focused, as if life is all about functionality and productivity. Various voices certainly encourage that perspective, but it doesn’t have to be interpreted that way. Something’s purpose could be bringing pleasure or promoting joy. That is a good thing, because I have seen a lot of art that would otherwise be looking for a new home!
Judi recently read Marie Kondo’s The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. It is a book that promotes serious spring cleaning, along with consideration of whether or not an object brings you joy. If so, keep it; if not, send it on to its next home. This approach not only declutters and simplifies living spaces but also fosters a more intentional and mindful lifestyle. I joke that with those criteria, one day I’ll be set out by the side of the road with a sign reading “free” hanging around my neck; but seriously, if you ever see me there, kindly take me back to my house, ring the doorbell, and run.
Pope Leo has raised questions of purpose in his recent encyclical, Magnifica Humanitas. In a rapidly changing world, what gives us purpose? And how do we combat those changes that potentially rob humanity of it? He specifically has in mind AI, and is concerned with how its amazing capacity could have a negative impact on the human experience. Something seemingly as positive as AI “efficiency” can create a new standard by which labor is evaluated, leaving no place for the less efficient human efforts in the workplace. Like dominoes falling, this inefficiency undermines value, which impacts a sense of purpose. Pope Leo teaches that human purpose is rooted in being created by God, valued for inherent dignity rather than productivity, and called to be active co-workers in the work of creation.
As lofty as those reflections about purpose can be, I find that many of the conversations in my orbit about purpose have to do with retirement, and the lives we create once we subtract something that occupied 1/3 to ½ of our time for years. For most of our adult lives we find activities to do that compensate us for our efforts so that we can afford shelter and food and more. We are not those activities, but without doubt they affect our perspective on life, our habits, and more – to the point that when we introduce ourselves our work identity makes its way into the introduction: I’m Jay and I’m dean emeritus of . . . . I am Julie and I am an accountant at . . . . Perhaps it is the inclusion of the word “am” that deepens the imprint our professions have on us. Is there a difference between saying “I am Dean . . . “ versus “I work as a dean?”
I encourage people to consider the type of retirement they want before launching that adventure. In part that is so they can begin to understand the financial resources they will need if they are to achieve that vision, but it is equally about sorting through some of those questions related to “purpose.” Retirees are often heard to exclaim, “I’m so busy, I don’t know how I ever had time to work.” It is true that things flood in to fill the vacant space, but beware: busyness does not necessarily equal a purposeful life. Learning to say “no” may be one the most important things to practice in advance of retirement.
Speaking from personal experience, I can say that when I retired in 2018, I was exhausted. For the first few months, my mornings began with coffee on the front patio, where I remained for about four hours in a zombie-like state! I was relieved to be free of the responsibilities I had born for 20 years as dean. Questions of purpose didn’t seem important at the moment. But with time, as my heart and spirit were restored, I understood that my gifts and calling needed to be exercised, and that doing so improved my well-being by contributing to my sense of purpose as one created by God and offered the opportunity to be an active contributor in God’s world. I still spend a good amount of time with coffee in the morning. But instead of zombie time, it is time for reading, writing, and reflection.
I watched Judi come to terms with her own retirement. After twenty-five years of responsibility as a pastor, she had a mostly blank canvas upon which to create her chapter. Her interest in cooking led to amassing 555 cookie recipes (see the photo if you don’t believe me!), with a commitment to make each one. She is up to 498 so far. I have the privilege of being her official taster – yet another perk of living with her! But here is the thing. This is more than having a list and a goal. Cooking is meditative time for her, so this feeds her soul. She has always had a love of feeding others, so this provides ample opportunities to do so. It has sparked mini-social events like “Cookies and Conversation” where we invite two to four friends over for a visit. In that way our community connections are nurtured. And of course, there is pleasure and joy for everyone in the tasting; which in turn generates positive affirmation that is beneficial to Judi’s sense of purpose.
So, those are reasons behind my rationale for giving some advanced thought to the kinds of things people want to be involved in when they retire. One person’s wishes were simple. She just wanted to travel to watch her grandchildren play sports. Another’s desires took them to far-away places, or imagined a vacation home in the Smoky Mountains. Those will require a bigger pile of cash, but for some it is doable. From my perspective, there is no right or wrong answer. Part of the effort is to figure out what gives meaning and purpose to your existence.
My mother died a few months ago. In the last couple of years, as her capacity lessened and she mostly stayed home, she would occasionally lament that she no longer had any purpose and wonder aloud why she was still here. That was tough to hear, especially since she still fulfilled an important purpose in my life. Whatever the age, purpose matters. Whether in the thick of your career or on the cusp of retiring or approaching your final years, we want to feel as though we make a difference to someone, somewhere. We want to believe that there is value to our days.
True purpose doesn’t demand a massive stage, a corporate title, or a running tally of cookie recipes; it asks only that we remain awake to the movement of the Spirit, the gifts we are capable of sharing, and the quiet moments of connection that make our days worth living. Whether we are traveling the world, baking for friends, or simply sitting on a patio with a cup of coffee at sunrise, the goal is not to stay endlessly occupied, but to live with intention with the hope that every season of life is anchored in grace, joy, and profound worth.
